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Agent 00hot by maxandmo


Agent 00hot by maxandmo

This is a great fic for me to review. Here we have an author that is not only hysterical but truly a great person. Max is writing a story that she can relate to. Bella is a parole officer and the author is a former parole officer.

Bella meets Edward in a local bar in the first chapter.

Are you frigging kidding me? Why didn't anyone tell me he was this hot? All these months I heard about Edward Cullen, the one who had moved on to the F.B.I., and not once did those morons mention that their old friend was a total hottie. I was trying to play this cool, but i couldn't help but sneak glances at this green-eyed God with the best hair I had ever seen.

Bella usually sits at home, but one night her coworker (who knew Edward) gets her to come out to the bar. Once she gets a look at Edward, Bella's nerves overcome her and she runs to her friend, Jessica. Even though she was trying to avoid contact with the Green-Eyed God, he has his sights set on her.

As I turned to look, Edward was in fact staring at me, holding a pink drink in his hand, and yes, his hair was indeed, fucked up.

We come to find out that though the connection between these two is instantaneous, it's not to be because Edward is taken by Tanya. Things might not be quite what they seem, however.

We had been together for a little more than a year. Things were definitely on the downward spiral, but I was used to the constant piece of ass, and was scared shitless to just end it. Tanya was cool enough to hang out with, I just couldn't imagine us going any further. I also couldn't imagine telling her she had to move out of my condo. Not that I ever actually asked her to move in, but that's another story.

That night at the bar, however, Emmett introduces Edward and Bella and Edward is quickly interested.

As she looked up I noticed her cheeks were flushed pink, she was chewing on her bottom lip, and she had the most beautiful brown eyes I had ever seen.

Their eyes remain locked but Edward gets nervous and can't approach Bella either.

He was now starting to slowly make his way over to us, never breaking the stare. I felt myself start to blush and was hoping no one noticed. All of a sudden there was a panicked look on his face, and he grabbed his cell phone off of his belt. He stayed on the phone for just a minute and then ran his hands through his hair looking frustrated. He gave me a half wave and turned back towards the bar. I noticed him say something to Emmett and the next thing I knew he was gone.

The plot thickens as we see some great interactions between Bella and her parolees that make me, for one, wonder if the author had some of the same experiences. I have to say, reading these interactions make me think of a spiced up Law and Order. I can see it now, Max at a table, a criminal at the other end, but instead of the "normal" interactions, the most absurd yet completely believable things happen.

There are two such instances in the story that I can talk about.

One involves a chance through a house, where Bella is chasing an offender. Just the words: "-TOTAL OVERKILL- TATE PAROLE OFFICER SHOOTS DOG 13 TIMES BUT THE OFFENDER GOT AWAY.-"

The other is one of my wife's favorites.

"Come on, Bree, it's time to pee," Sam barked out with authority.

I couldn't help myself and snorted while trying to hold in my laughter. He looked at me like I was nuts, but did he really not realize what he aid?

Bree and I walked into the bathroom, and I leaned against the wall acting like I wasn't paying any attention to her. She was stalling, and I knew she was up to no good. I took out my phone and acted like I was texting.

I saw her take a canister out of her pocket and open the lid. She was about to pour the liquid into the container when I told her to drop it. She dropped it alright, all over the floor. Whatever the hell was in the canister splashed up and sprayed all over my pants, soaking them.

"Fuck," I spat. "Put your goddamn hands against the wall."

She complied, and I placed her under arrest. "Sam, get your ass in here."

Sam walked and gaped at the wetness that was my pants. "Bella, you're in the bathroom. Why didn't you say you had to go?"

"Ha ha ha," I laughed dryly.

I would have rather pissed my pants than to have someone else's piss on them. The sucky part was now I had to go to the jail like that. Lovely.

I remember drinking a pop and as this scene unfolded and the poor, poor puppy was shot, I snorted pop out my nose. Well, the puppy was not so nice and the pop burned like fire, too.

You follow Bella, Jasper, Emmett, Edward and others on an adventure to solve a series of bank robberies. Along the way, Edward and Bella's relationship blossoms.

Finally, I must give Max credit for her writing of Esme. What a woman. You will find yourself laughing until you can't breathe at some of the things this lady does and says, but I won't spoil that for you.

Now go off and read the story. If not for the story, at least do it for the humor. When you combine both you have a great fic written by a great author. Max has lived up to her name with this one and I look forward to see what she's going to do next. I hope it's a story with Esme as the lead - I could die of laughter. Go read. Enjoy and laugh and make sure you leave a review as Max always responds in her witty way.

Thanks for reading!
TwiFicDataBase Staff


Really enjoyed reading this fic!!! Matter of fact - after I finished I tweeted maxandmo and asked if she had anything new planned!!!!

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